maybe i just like to move in my own way...

What am I thankful for?

I'm thankful for home. I'm thankful for my amazing family and wonderful best friends. I'm thankful for grace. I'm thankful that at the end of a hard day I can come home and go for a long run in God's great creation and receive emails from amazing women who truly care about me. I'm thankful for God's healing through these rough patches I'm experiencing in life. It's funny...for a little while I'll feel so "on track," and then I'll go through times where I feel distant. Distant from the plans God has for me, distant because I'm wrapped up in things in the world, distant because I'm not putting God first in my love life, and distant because I'm still trying to understand why people have to go through so much suffering before God calls them home. I miss my Grandpa more and more every day. It's getting difficult. What's even more difficult to realize sometimes is that God can take that hurt on for me. I just need to give it to Him.

But why is it so hard for me to give everything in my life up to better hands? I've been good about it this year, but there are some things I am still struggling to let go of. My sin, my life, my time, and my heart. My heart isn't anyone else's in this world. Heck, I don't even know my heart as much as God does. That's a crazy thing.

I've learned a lot about intimidation and frustration lately. and you know what? I'm thankful for that too.



Funny thing is , I'm really glad I can be content in saying that I don't have it all together.

everything looks perfect from far away

i like summer.


and i like Batman.



and i like you.

the cry of my heart.

There comes a point in life when you just have to give it all away. Give everything you have to the hand of something and someone greater than anything in this world. Realize that nothing in this world...absolutely nothing will be there to catch you when everything falls apart.





Therefore he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
-2 Corinthians 12:9

so thanks, thanks for that summer...

i love summer.

this one is definitely full of the unexpected. and i love it.
i love being with my bests again. those girls just complete me.

God has given me so much consistency with things, and I like it.

:)

because You got to me in a way words can't describe

I should probably be asleep. It's one thirty in the morning. goodness.

I can't believe it's already the last week of my first year of college. When I think back on everything about this year, it is honestly one big blur currently. It's hard to understand how time can go so quickly sometimes.

I think that's my problem. Time is flying too quickly for me because I am always looking ahead into the future. Always looking for what is to come instead of what is happening right now. Staying true to the "live in the moment" or "take each day one at a time" statements is something I have not mastered yet. This is probably why I find myself trying to understand why I can't fully comprehend all that God is working for in my life. I am always looking for what He WILL do. Not what He IS doing at this very moment. God's got that bigger plan for me. He has it all under control and it will play out as He sees fit. I have to trust fully in Him and in nothing or no one else. And to think, I thought I was a pretty patient person!

Trust is key in this situation. Today at Northstar a woman named Mary was praying for/with myself, Sonja, and Kayla. The Spirit was so amazing in that moment. Throughout the whole service I struggled to fully grasp the thought that surrendering our full identities to Jesus and taking full refuge and trust in Him is what leads us closer to ourselves and to His will for us. I didn't even have to say anything and Mary knew exactly what I was feeling. What each of us women were feeling. She explained to us during prayer that as young women, it is hard for us to put all of our trust and being into something that isn't earthly. It is easy for us to be vulnerable and afraid of getting let down. But Jesus is the one true thing that is always there. He won't ever break the promise--we can be vulnerable. God continues to find and has found his identity in us even before he created us. What this amazing woman said may already be obvious to you, but I have found it to be pretty reassuring. :)

and THAT is why my Sunday (well, early Monday morning, too, in this case) has been quite amazing.




Oh, how He loves us.

I am truly blessed.


God is good.

Love.

One good love
You bless all my memories
You soften the fall of my tears
And in my arms you’re more than enough
You’re one good love

One good love
And born again means more than pass the plate and bow your head
Yes, you bury what needs burying, you raise it from the dead
The very best, you heal the brokenness, give grace to everyone
With one good love



it's funny when you realize a lot more about a song you've heard a million times.