feeling discouraged...

i am having one of those days/weeks where nothing ever feels right. Something's always going wrong. Why can I not just be content? Content with myself, and content that there are certain people who no matter how much they say they care, can be the ones who can hurt you to no end? I think the word 'relentless' is a good word for today.

sometimes lately i don't even feel that i'm content with God. I'm always searching for more, not content with the choices he has guided me to make. I'm always doubting Him. Doubting myself. Oh, goodness.

Last night I came upon the verse in John 4 where Jesus says to a royal official that "unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders, you will never believe." Sometimes I believe this to be true with me. I just need to work on knowing that I can be content with not physically or quickly SEEING that God really works in my life.
okay, now that probably only makes sense to me. ohhh well.


I am very lazy today. Probably because the power went out because of the crazy wind last night and I went to bed late. That's already the second time that's happened this year. goodness.

My sister Andrea is coming to stay with me Friday night. I'm excited:)


let's hope next time i'm a little more content and patient.

i have come to the conclusion that i am not very good at skiing.

however, i loved spending the weekend in new york with some pretty wonderful people:)








i'm frustrated with myself. why do i do some of the things i do? why am i the way i am sometimes? I seriously need to start trusting God with this.

trusting You...

and I know You could leave writing
on the wall that’s just for me
or send wisdom while I’m sleeping
like in Solomon’s sweet dreams
but I don’t need the strength of Sampson
or a chariot in the end
just wanna know that You still know how many
hairs are on my head
oh great God
be small enough to hear me now

God is so big.